Old Year

So long, 2009! You have been a shi'ite year for Angry Puppet. I think the best fun I had all year was this one weekend when I cleaned my entire fossil collection with a toothbrush and some shoe polish. No, really. That weekend was amazing.

Miraculously, Angry Puppet received an invite to a partay tonight (the invitation specified it was a partay. Awesome). Angry Puppet plans on writing himself off, massively. Angry Puppet does not wish to remember the last few hours of what has been a sub-par decade. If you have ever seen the music video for The Prodigy's insightful meditation on domestic violence, "Smack My Bitch Up", that's how Angry Puppet envisions his NYE will turn out. Rock on everybody. \m/

Note: I am aware I should be wearing 2010 glasses, but obviously that wouldn't work, what with the zeros not being in the middle and all. This disappoints me greatly, the demise of the 00 new years' glasses. 2011 will prove an even greater challenge. I shudder to think about it.

Disillusioned Christmas

Angry Puppet feels angriest at Christmas time. It's the time of year he's most reminded of his current tenancy in an isolated tower of cold and bitter loneliness. Everyone else gets to fang on a massive turkey and wear stupid hats (as is my understanding of Christmas), but not Angry Puppet. I sit at home with my chicken-flavoured pot noodles, my model train-set almanac, and a slug of fortified wine. Boring. Have you ever watched Christmas Day television? It fucking sucks. If I have to sit through Its a Wonderful Life one more time ... ergh. You don't even want to know what I'll do.



Merry Christmas, no such thing.