Angry Puppet Merchandise

I've gotten a few emails lately from my dedicated fan base requesting puppet merchandise. And so, I have spent the last couple of days beavering away, along with my newly established PR team, to bring you the first of what I am sure will become a vast collection of puppet-related merchandise.

This first T Shirt I'm not so sure about, however:

PR Rep Jenny came up with the slogan. Puppetude? Really, Jenny? I paid you how much to devise a portmanteau which only sort of makes sense? Talk about naff. You, Jenny, have naffitude.

On the other hand, PR Rep Richard came up with this pearler:

Now that's a slogan I am proud to lend my image to. I especially like the double exclamation points at the end of "Hey Everybody". Take heed, Jenny: this is a T Shirt for winners.

The final T Shirt in our range was masterminded by yours truly:

Jenny and Richard thought this one to be a bit sinister, but I reasoned with them that one man's "sinister" is another man's "edgy". And although "Hey everybody!! I am awesome" is a stroke of marketing genius, I also wanted a T Shirt in our range which would best encapsulate the man behind the Puppet. The diminutive Angry Puppet, if you will. Four words of pure, unadulterated angry. And I believe this T Shirt may be it.

Now. From T Shirts to crockery:

The mug wholesalers had a surplus of unsold "World's Greatest Dad" mugs, so they gave them to us for a discounted rate. Hence, I pass the savings onto you. Ignore the Dad part. I don't know.. only drink from the Puppet side or something.

That's it for now (Richard and Jenny got bored faffing about on Photoshop). I will let you know once we have more mad rad merch in the pipelines.

Alrighty. Angry Puppet has twelve pages of Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret to go, and he's itching to find out how it ends. I'll be goddamned if she doesn't start menstruating. What a waste of my reading time otherwise. I'm all like, Hurry up and menstruate already! It can't be that hard! Jesus.